Bucket Lists

I want to outrun a grizzly bear.

I want to be the least narcissistic person

in the world so I can tell all my friends

they need to be more like me.

I want to bite a lion.

I want to skate across the melting ice

and watch it break into the flowing river as I pass by.

I want to jump from a plane

while covered in marshmallows.

Steal an orange from a gorilla.

Pitch a tent in the shadow of the White House

and yell at people to get off my lawn.

Serve clay pigeons at the gun club dinner,

sautéed in onions and crusted in black pepper.